Calm After the Storm
by TheMagicThatIsKath
Summary: First person thoughts of the senior staff. Post-Endgame. Chapter ten is up - Closing Measures. FINISHED.
1. Kathryn

(Regular disclaimer applies - Don't own any VOY stuff, Paramount does... I own the plot/idea.)

As I look out my window this evening over the endless corn fields, coffee in my hand, I find myself ironically looking up at the stars. One would think that since I've finally accomplished my life's meaning that I would be staring off through the ears of yellow vegetables behind my mother's home. But ever since I reached home, I've been longing to get back out there. At least out there I had a purpose beyond tending a garden and exploring forests. Everything down here is discovered, known and safe. Out there, I held the galaxy at my fingertips. Though safety can be enticing, as it was every night I slept among the stars, it doesn't seem as tempting or luxurious. In fact, it seems rather dull and boring.

The coffee, warming the sides of the mug, along with my hands reminds me of Neelix. A smile broadens across my face at the name - Neelix had a way of doing that. His cheerfully positive aura was what made going to the Mess Hall a treat. Though somewhat annoying and pesky at times, he knew his place well, and earned a place in my heart forever. I wonder how he's doing on the colony, and if he's as safe as I am right now.

The moon hangs like a Christmas ornament in the sky, lighting up the dark blanket of stars and navy sky. As the coffee warms me after drinking, I dryly smile, growing slowly tired. A few adventurous birds fly not far off, right past the less-than-scary scarecrow that hangs on his post, watching vigilantly over his flock of corn. It's funny how I can relate everything to Voyager, everything. Even myself to a watchful, hay-stuffed scarecrow with a false grin. My lips falter at this thought of a false grin. So many days passed with a "Captain's smile" that I guessed it could match as many days as my vacation days I never took.

Sometimes, like now, my thoughts drifted towards vacation. Wasn't all it was cracked up to be now, was it? Stop it, I tell myself. Just stop, you can go one night without drifting back to the stars. I stand up, taking my coffee with me, the only thing that will remain forever my friend. I gasp at the sight of someone at my doorway. "Mother, I-"

"I didn't mean to scare you," Gretchen says, her voice huskier than mine. It was the only thing that made me feel youthful at times.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask, walking over to my bed, setting my mug down on my bed stand and turning the lamp on.

"Not long," she says with a small smile. "Long enough to see your head up in the stars again. Reminds me of when you were younger."

"Oh?" I say, pressing her for more of a story while sitting down on my comforter.

"When you were just a baby, I remember your father would take you outside. You'd be crying up a storm, but as soon as you saw the stars, it was like… all was at peace."

I smile, not doubting it in the slightest.

"You'll go back, won't you?"

The smile becomes smaller, flatter as I look up at her. "Why would I do that?"

"Because," she says, laughing lowly, "it's where you belong."

I pause, and let her words sink in. It's true, my mind says. "I'd love to go back one day, yes, but.. I have a feeling it won't have the same effect anymore."

"There will never be another Voyager, Katie darling," she says, sitting down next to me and laying a hand on mine. I look down at her hand on mine, and look up at her soft features. In so many ways, she resembles the Admiral Janeway of the alternate future.

"I know," I say softly with a small sigh. "Part of me is glad to have accomplished such a mission, but part of me wishes I could have taken the longer journey home. There are a lot of unsettled things I left in those corridors."

"Oh? Like what?" she asks, sounding an awful lot like me. I crack a smile at her curiosity, vaguely seeing where daddy had rubbed off on her.

"Oh, you know," I sigh, leaning back against the headboard to get a better look at her, "... things."

"If you think I'm going to let you off that easy, you better think again Kathryn Janeway," she says with mock seriousness, laughing again. I laugh quietly too, knowing all to well she'll get it out of me.

"Well for one thing," I say, leaning over to the nightstand and getting my coffee, "I wonder how the crew really felt about me over the years. Wonder if there was anything I could have changed to have made things more accommodating, safer so I could have saved more lives." I sip my coffee and let the thoughts of the windowsill slowly crawl back to me.

Gretchen shakes her head, and let's a short laugh through her nose escape. "Just when I thought you couldn't be more like your father," she says, her eyes landing on me, scanning me briefly. "You remind me of him when he came home after his very first Captain's mission," she says, gazing back ahead and around the room. "He had lost one crewman during a negotiation turned arye, and was so remorseful that he told me he was going to give up his dreams in Starfleet and become a farmer."

"There's a sight," I say, slightly strained as I readjust and set my coffee down after a satisfied sip. "So what happened?"

"He eventually got over it after discussing things with a counselor," she says with a light sigh, showing her evidently tiredness. "Though it took a while before he could sleep soundly again," she adds with glance at me. I return the gaze, but soon realize she knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I look out the open window at the far-off scarecrow, grinning his painted smile. "Give yourself more credit than this, darling. You may not realize what you've done to improve humanity tonight, but one day it will dawn on you." She stands up slowly, age wearing her motor down. She reaches over, tucking her hand through my hair and rubbing my face gingerly. With a kiss on my forehead, she quietly says, "Goodnight, dear," and dismisses herself to her room. I pause, summing up her underlining meaning before I stand up. After doing so, I walk over the window and pull the open glass to its closed frame. Giving the scarecrow one last fleeting look, I return to my bed and turn off the lamp, tucking my legs underneath the warm folds of cloth.


	2. Chakotay

(A/N - Standard disclaimer)

I stand, hands behind my back, looking up at the stars as the wind blows past me, jostling the knee-high grass around me. My home is gone. I look up into the stars and try to imagine the panic my people felt as the Cardassians came down and killed them one by one. I tried to imagine how my sisters gathered in the corner of the kitchen, the fire lighting their frighten faces as they met their end. The silence that consumed the air was once again awakening with the sound of wind, though it was stronger this time.

As soon as the Maquis were pardoned for our so-called "crimes", I came here. To think, to make peace with my land. The few remaining survivors of the devastation still lived here, the Cardassians had been banned, and though that should comfort me, it didn't. It was like trying to say sorry and expecting that to clear everything up. It didn't bring my mother and father back, and it didn't bring Renee back either.

But now wasn't the time to be angry, my conscience told me. Now was the time to forgive my enemies, take away my inner demons and move on. The sound of grass brushing someone's legs drew my attention away, and I turned to see Seven of Nine walking towards me, a small smile across her face.

"Seven," I say, surprised she'd actually come outside of a sanitized building. "I didn't know you were coming here."

"I know you had previously requested an allotted amount of time to yourself here, but after two weeks of no communication, I began to ..." She was looking for the right word in that Borg dictionary of hers. " .. worry." I was taken back by this, since it basically admitted the first weakness ever from her directly.

"I'm sorry, but my people don't really have a comlink to Earth," I say, looking over her shoulder and into the woods where I can see the flickering fire dancing shadows on the trees. She steps closer and slowly we bridge the gap and embrace. The wind blows again and I feel her loose strands of hair whisper across my face. "I missed you too," I whisper. She tightened in my grasp, and pulled away, her face looking as if she may cry. "Seven what's wrong?" I ask, trying to suppress my natural concern.

"I required contact with you before I..." Seven looks to the side, out into the fields. My heart was beginning to ache - what was tearing her up inside? I laid a hand on her arm, but she pulled away. "I am getting my implants removed."

"That's great news, Seven," I say, enforcing my words with a bright, confident smile.

"There could be..." She looks at me, worry painted across her smooth face, her eyes glowing vibrant. ".. complications." I paused, putting my words together. I loved Seven so much, what could possibly happen to her?

"What type of complications?" I ask, putting my hands in my pockets.

"I could.. die," she says, her voice growing quiet, and her head looking downward. "With such integrated systems, there is a 54% possibility of my survival." I too find myself looking downward now. What devastating low numbers... she could really die. The only thing I can do is take her back into my arms, and comfort her. I know how much she wants to cry, but her emotions are so pent up within her, they seem as though they will never come out. She struggles to push away for a moment, but I hold her close. I can't lose her now, not like I did Kathryn oh so many light-years ago.

"I love you, Seven, no matter what happens. I will always be here for you. Always, you have to understand that," I whisper into her ear as she calms down. She rests her head on my shoulder, and I catch myself nuzzling into her soft hair, running my hands down her back.

"I did not arrive here to deliver just this news, Chakotay," she says, her voice so low I can barely hear her. It's a new light of Seven, to see her act somewhat remotely human. "I must... end this relationship." My hands freeze, as does the world around me. The grass seems to lie still now around my knees. For a second, I think she may have not really said it. But before I can react, she breaks free of my weakened embrace, and runs off into the dense woods. "Seven!" I call after her. But it's too late. She's gone.


	3. B'Elanna

(Disclaimer still applies. Short chapter... sorry .)

I cradle Miral softly, gently bouncing her in my arms as her tantrum comes to an end. Her fingers grip around my index finger, and I smile at her soft and innocent embrace. I kiss her fingers lightly, not wanting to disturb her slumber for the fear of another outburst. Walking over to her crib, I turn on the quiet, soothing music of Harry's clarinet. The tune memorized well in my mind after playing it countless times to quiet the little warrior, I slowly make my way across the room to her window, gazing up at the stars. The twinkling stars are already burned into my memory, but resurface past memories of Voyager at warp speeds.

It seems like yesterday we were fighting the Kazon and destroying the Caretaker. It seems like minutes ago I was told that I would never seem home or my family again. Though it didn't really bother me at first, it eventually sunk in that I may never get to make peace with my father and mother again.

It was hard without her. I wanted her to be alive so much, if not for my sake, for at least Tom and Miral's. She would have the strict Klingon wisdom that structured every sentence and made me cringe, but she would know how to raise a child. She couldn't be too bad, I mean, look how I turned out, I thought, with a dry grin. But the subject of the matter still plagued me. If she could hold her grand-daughter like dad could, then maybe she could understand that something "honorable" could come out of me.

Miral writhed in my cradled grasp, and I snapped back to reality. The music came back to my ears and the otherwise silent house seemed to come up around me. I walked slowly back over to the crib where I laid her down, softly as not to wake her of course. She quietly lay there, innocent to the world. I catch myself at moments like this thinking about her future. She has no clue of the world around her. No clue that she could one day be whatever she wished to be. Miral had her whole entire life to live, and slowly I begin to feel old.

Old. Something that came along with motherhood I guess, but I now that think about it I think I caught it from the Delta Quadrant. Out there I was forced to grow up, and take on a leadership position that that Starfleet forced upon me. Though without it, where would I be? Probably dead, on some Maquis ship. Probably in the Brig of Voyager and then prison for my insubordinate actions. Probably alone, without Tom or Miral.

As I turn to the leave the room, I look at the shadow on the floor from the window coaxes my attention to fall back on the stars. I shortly pause, looking at the sky I once called home. But Miral needs this security, and I will deliver. Harry's clarinet song comes to an end, and I turn and leave the dark room, back to my own. Not so alone.


	4. Thomas

(Disclaimer still applies. Not as good of a chapter, but it's Tom, come on, he's just not dramatic!)

I stand outside the intimidating UFP Rehabilitation Commissions building. It never phased through my thoughts, not, at least, until I was in the Brig. I'd have to come back here, but certainly the Captain gave me a good word. I did, if she could remember, bring her back to Earth, and maneuvered her to safety countless times. Suddenly a hand on my shoulder surprises me. I turn around, almost defensively. In shock, my mouth must be gaping.

"I figured you could use the support, son. They can be dogs if you let them."

Dad. A million thoughts and emotions burst through me at his face. As soon as Voyager was behind me, I never saw him for the few months we'd been home. I figured he would contact me when he was ready, but of all times, now?

"Come on, we don't want to be late. Leaves a bad impression, and that's exactly what they're looking for."

"I don't need you're support, _dad_," I say, pulling away as he lays a hand on my shoulder. "You had your chance to support me here over seven years ago, and you gave up on me. I can do this, and will do this on my own."

"I understand why you're angry, but there's no need for it. I realized I left you to fend for yourself, but it took me some time before I could see that no matter what happens, you're always going to be my son."

"Well I'm glad it struck you before I died," I say with bitter sarcasm, turning and walking into the building, displaying more confidence than I felt. I tried to think of other things, since my father had currently left a tart taste in my mouth. But it was like a haunting nightmare, and the thoughts of his wretched fatherly example burned through me. I approached the front desk, hoping I wasn't displaying my feelings.

"Three doors down, on your left, Commander. He's been awaiting your arrival," the woman says, pointing down a corridor. I nod and flash my old bachelor smile, but wipe it off as I head to the hallway. I am, after all, a married man. There are quickened footsteps behind me, and once again a hand is on my shoulder, though this time, it wheels me around forcefully.

"Thomas Eugene, you wait a damn minute."

I internally groan and cringe. My middle name is forbidden territory. "I have an appointment to keep, if you don't remember."

"I'm trying to make up for lost time, but you need to do your part too."

"Right here? Right now? Are you insane?!" I ask. A few heads in the lobby turn at my raised voice, and I hush it down to a harsh whisper. "Maybe over lunch, or any other normal scheduled time, but not when I'm trying to stay out of jail."

"I know this is a difficult time, and I want to be here for you," he says, his blue eyes reflecting his true support. I've never seen this side of him.

"You're just going to flash around your high-class ranking and win me out of here, and I'll be damned if I let that happen. I can fend for myself, I did before and I will now."

"Thomas, please, just let me help. I didn't come in uniform, and I don't intend to act like I did," he says, making me pity him even more. But for some reason, perhaps because I've been around B'Elanna so long, I have this burning anger beneath me, and it's surging through my fingertips.

"Just leave me alone, dad. I want to do this on my own," I say, and I turn and leave him again. Though this time, there are no following, protesting footsteps. Now that I'm slightly relieved, I straighten myself so I don't look so ruffled when meeting my "officer". Though, in the back of my mind, I kinda wished he followed me.


	5. Annika

(Diclaimer **still** applies. Oh, and thank you Cat C for pointing out that I didn't accept anonymous reviews. I hadn't realized that, but I now do. I must have X-ed the box on accident. Anyways, on with the story! Though I think this chapter is a little shaky..)

A bright light... life tingles into prospective as I awaken. The hiss of the hypospray's release still echoed in my misted phase. I felt disoriented, like a newborn into a bright new world. My senses seemed to flare, and I pick up every distinct occurrence. I look around, there was a muffled voice.  
  
"... Seven, can you here me? Seven?"  
  
"Affirmative," I say, my voice shaky with uncertainty. An odd sensation to hesitate with my answer, when the response is oh so clear.  
  
"How is your vision?" The doctor asks, tapping on a PADD.  
  
"Slightly obscured, but functional," I reply. There's a new zest to my voice, something I can't quite distinguish. I reach above my left eye, feeling the bandage. "What is the meaning of this dressing above my eye?"  
  
"Your implant was deep, and it caused severe bleeding. I was going to use the dermal regenerator on it later on, along with several other lacerations."  
  
I glance down at the bandage my hand, where the tubules used to lay engraved into my flesh. "Are the results from the surgery.. successful?" I ask, feeling anxious and hesitant. My feelings are so mixed and ironic – I want to know, but I don't. What if it's bad news?  
  
"Completely, Seven, completely," the doctor says with a proud and satisfied smile, setting the PADD down and picking up a dermal regenerator of the nearby cart. He then removes the bandage along my hand, and I cringe at the sight. You can see my bones, my veins. The doctor quickly runs the regenerator over my hand, seeing my ... emotional reaction. After my skin has returned, I run my other hand over it, as if feeling it for the first time. But in a sense, I am. He then removes the wrapping above my eye and it too is 'healed'. As I rub a fascinated hand over my face, a nurse walks in and speaks quietly with the doctor. "It seems you have a guest," he says, with a raised brow, as if questioning. The nurse looks at me questioningly, as if asking permission to let the guest in. I nod; a simple answer. Efficient, though it seems a little emotionless. I briefly wonder how long my hollow replies have bothered others as the nurse goes to return with my guest.  
  
"Seven, it's so good to see you! Or should I say Annika now?"  
  
"Doctor," I say, completely surprised, and slightly hurt. I was hoping it was Chakotay, so I could excuse my behavior.  
  
"Are you feeling alright?"  
  
My disappointment must have been displayed. "No," I say quickly. "Please feel free to call me Annika, as that is my new.. form."  
  
"Very well then," the EMH says, smiling brightly. "You're absolutely stunning, Annika."  
  
"Really?" I ask, unsure of myself once again.  
  
"Allow me," the doctor says, holding up a nearby mirror. My reflection raises so many emotions. Tears corner my eyes unintentionally. I don't know what's happening to me, I feel a warmth surge through me as the EMH lays a hand on my shoulder.  
  
"I'm so proud of you, Annika," he says, low, tender and yet somehow enthusiastic. I lower the mirror and attempt to read his emotions, though it is flawed – he is, after all, a hologram. But his eyes, for once in my life I see them bright and loving. Loving? Is that really the proper word? "I hope you don't mind, but I brought a friend along with me. Reg?" He turns and calls behind him. Reg Barclay enters the room, timid and yet somewhat not.  
  
"Seven," he seems to say in a breath of relief. "Or-or is it Annika?"  
  
"Annika," I state simply, my brow rose in perplexity.  
  
"Since our return from the Delta Quadrant," the EMH pipes in, "I've been working with Reg at Jupiter Station, along with a formidable team of doctors. I've been showing them some of my techniques that I taught myself on our little away mission," he says, pride gracing his every holographic feature as he rocks on his heels. "And we were wondering, since all the debriefings have ended, if you'd like to come and work with us?"  
  
"Pardon?" I ask, though I frown – since when do I say pardon?  
  
"Let me try to explain," Reg says, his comfort still not obviously placed. "Your first hand experience with the doctor's treatments could help us greatly. We're also doing other countless studies that you'd just love."  
  
"Please, Sev- Annika, I assure you. You'll enjoy living on the Starbase," the EMH said, coaxingly. I hesitate, looking briefly away. For the first time in my life, my conscience seems to be piping up, and it confuses me only further.  
  
"Alright," I say with a small smile, looking at the EMH. If I thought his face was bright before, his photons were exploding now. For a moment, I see a part of Chakotay in him. I have to move on though. I've started a new chapter in my life, and a new job is just what I need.


	6. Harry

(Usual disclaimer, yata yata)

It's a bright day, the sun pours in through my window. I sit in the silent living room, staring at my stand and clarinet. It's remained untouched since I put it there nearly three months ago. The inspiration that I usually have has suddenly vanished. The sunlight from the window behind it hits the metallic keys. My bell rings, stirring me from thoughts of lacking revelation, and I slowly rise. "Admiral, what a pleasant surprise," I say, the word 'surprise' not covering even a portion of how I really feel. I haven't seen anyone from Voyager since we landed, and only have received a few pictures from Tom and B'Elanna.  
  
"It's so wonderful to see you, Harry," she says, stepping in as I move out of her way. Her warm smile reminds me of the old days, and I catch myself smiling also. To see her in a summer dress though is a bit awkward. I thought that the uniform was pasted to her at times. Her hair is longer, and a newer version of the 'bun-of-steel' has risen.  
  
"As it is you. Please, have a seat," I say, motioning to my sofa. "Can I get you something to drink? Coffee perhaps?"  
  
"That would be nice," she says, sitting down, her scanning eyes searching my living room as I disappear. As I walk into my kitchen, I start to wonder what brought her here. I do have a lot of questions to ask her. I return to my living room with two cups of coffee, and sit down in a chair across from her, a coffee table between us. She takes a long swig, and sets it down, a sigh of relief following.  
  
"How have you been, Admiral, it's been a while," I say, nervously sipping my coffee. I don't know why I'm so jittery all of a sudden.  
  
"Please Harry, we're not on duty, are we now? Call me Kathryn. And I'm doing fine. I've been living in Indiana with my mother. In fact, I brought you some of my vegetables, but they're out in my shuttle," she says. I thought I noticed her darker skin, and more freckles. "What about you, how is life onboard the Titan?"  
  
"Not the same as Voyager, but I suppose patrol duty is never going to match up to the Delta Quadrant," I say, setting my mug of java down.  
  
"Ah you shouldn't compare it to Voyager, Harry," Kathryn says, "It's clearly in a league of its own."  
  
"I suppose," I say, wondering how anything could be worse than our adventures of in the Delta Quadrant. "May I ask you a question, Admi-" Her brow raises. "Kathryn?"  
  
"Of course," she says, reaching for her coffee and holding it to her lips. I hesitate slightly, because I really don't want to ask it without making her tighten up.  
  
"Why did you resign from Starfleet?" I ask, though my voice is low. She looks away, at the window behind my clarinet, bringing the coffee to her lips and taking a slow sip, as she obviously pieces together her answer.  
  
"It was my time to go, Harry," she says softly, still not looking at me.  
  
"But you were just promoted to Admiral," I say, trying to get more out of her. I know there's more than her age weighing on her early retirement.  
  
"Yes, but that was because I had spent seven long years in the Delta Quadrant. Everyone was promoted, even you, Lieutenant," she said, with a smirk. I'm still not satisfied with her answer, and she's just going off topic.  
  
"You must've been offered a desk job, or another ship. I doubt Admiral Paris would give up on you without a fight," I say, watching her intently.  
  
"He did," Kathryn says, tightening her grip on the mug, as well as pursing her lips. "But I refused. I need time to adjust to the Alpha Quadrant."  
  
"But retire, Kathryn?" I ask, my voice growing desperate. Her name is foreign to me though, and it leaves behind a tangy taste. I never used her name before, never. She smirks in my own displeasure at myself.  
  
"I'm not as sharp, or young like I used to be, Harry," she says, looking out the window again. "Both are qualities you possess," she says, her prideful gaze falling me.  
  
"Even Tom and B'Elanna didn't retire, and they have Miral," I say, ignoring her comment.  
  
"Parenthood his no reason to retire," she says, shifting around, and sitting up taller.  
  
"Then what is?" I ask, making my runaround, and final catching up with her. She tilts her head, obviously impressed with my weaving.  
  
"I've already had the adventure of my life, Harry," she says with a sigh. "It brought me so much joy and closer to any crew I've ever been with. But it also brought me pain, and grief," she says, her gaze fogging over momentarily, but she regains control. "Though I would love to have another crew, and another adventure, I could never bring myself to that everyday harm, that everyday risk."  
  
"You wouldn't have to, Kathryn," I say, her name flowing freely now. "You could work a desk job."  
  
"Can you really picture me behind a desk, Lieutenant?" Kathryn says with a playful crooked smile on her face. I smile too the image of her even trying is amusing.  
  
"I suppose not," I say, taking a step off my soapbox. "So what brings you here, to California?"  
  
"I was going to see if you've heard the latest on Seven," she says, her comfort coming back now that the spotlight is off of her.  
  
"I haven't had any contact with the crew since the celebration a week after we got home," I say, with a sigh. "I was assigned to the Titan after two weeks, and I just got back yesterday from our mission."  
  
"She's fully human again," Kathryn says, a glowing smile appearing. She's obviously glad to deliver the news. "Our Doctor has been working with the medical staff on Jupiter Station, and finally developed a procedure, though it was extremely risky."  
  
"How is she doing?" I ask, interested.  
  
"I'm not quite sure. I received a call from Chakotay just before he went on an archeological dig on Ajilon Prime."  
  
"Seems that neither of you can stand a desk job," I say with a smirk. "Are you sure there's nothing else that brought you here? You could have just as easily called me as Chakotay did you."  
  
"To be honest, I've missed your cunning youthfulness," she says, with a wink. "But you're no longer my little Ensign. I was worried that promotion would have made your head spin."  
  
I laugh lightly at this. It did make my head spin. Very much so.  
  
"So tell me, Mr. Kim, is there someone special in your life now that we've returned?"  
  
I sigh, and internally slump. "No ma'am," I say, reaching for my coffee, avoiding her pitying glance. "I just haven't found the right one yet."  
  
"Join the crowd," she says with a huffing laugh, sipping her coffee.  
  
"Has Mark called you since we've been here?" I ask, the thought forming and just slipping, though I instantly regret it as her eyes flash and look away painfully. "Forgive me; it wasn't my place to ask."  
  
"No, you're quite fine, Harry," she says softly, making me feel even worse. "Mark hasn't contacted me yet, but I suppose he's just preoccupied." I nod, reading the underlying message, and move along. Suddenly my combadge chirps from across the room.  
  
"If you'll excuse me," I say, standing up and walking over to the sound's origin in my dining room. I tap the badge. "Kim here."  
  
_"I hate to cut your shoreleave a little short, Lieutenant, but there's been a reported dispute along our patrol route. Starfleet is requesting that we return to handle the situation."_  
  
I sigh, hating to cut Kathryn's visit so short. I could talk to her for hours. "Understood, Captain," I say. "When are we leaving?"  
  
_"As soon as the crew returns. Hopefully in a few hours."_  
  
"I'll be right over, sir. Kim out," I say, taping the badge again.  
  
"Well," Kathryn says with a groan as heaves herself up. "Duty calls, Mr. Kim. You'll have to give me a call when you're on shoreleave again. I'd love to show you my garden."  
  
"That would be nice, Admi-" I pause, shaking my head. "Kathryn."


	7. Neelix

(Disclaimer goes here, yata yata. I know he's not our favorite character, but hopefully I can change our minds. My longest chapter so far (and that's saying something since it's shorter than Janeway's!))  
  
I sit on the couch, alone, facing the window. My thumb relaxes on my mug of coffee, something I never really drank until I left Voyager. It's the only thing besides my memories that I have. The space outside sits idly, only a ship or two passing by every few minutes. I know I made the right choice though, leaving Voyager that is. I know that even if we did make it home to the Alpha Quadrant, I wouldn't feel at home because I wouldn't have _my_ home. My family is gone, but here, on the asteroid, I have a new one. It's not like Talax, but I've learned to adjust, or as Seven of Nine would say, adapt.  
  
"Brax finally gave in and went to bed," Dexa says, walking into the living room and sitting slowly next to me, her pregnant bulge hindering her usual graceful movements. She snuggles into my chest, and I wrap my free arm around her, the coffee still in my grasp. I can't I'm going to be a father. Though it wasn't my first opportunity, it will be my first child. Some days I think of Kes, and what would have happened if we had gone through with having a child. What it would look like, or be like. "What are you thinking of, love?" Dexa asks, startling me from my thoughts.  
  
"Nothing," I reply, not wanting to disturb her. I never told her about Kes, but it isn't like Kes could just show up.  
  
"I find that hard to believe," she says, moving her head to look up at me. "I don't understand why your thoughts always seemed to be elsewhere, and then you say it's nothing." I sigh, bringing the coffee to my lips and letting the liquid take it's time down. "Is there something wrong, Neelix?"  
  
"No, not at all," I say, looking down into her worried eyes. "Things are perfect." As if cued, my computer starts chirping. I stand up, careful as to not let Dexa fall, and walk into my office. I tap a key and my partnering trade companion comes up on screen.  
  
"Neelix, Raxel's ship...," he says quickly, the background around him shaking. "Raxel, his ship has been demolished."  
  
"What?" I say, my eye widening. "What's going on, why are you under fire?"  
  
"The miners, they've returned," he says, his ship shaking once again.  
  
"But we negotiated a treaty with them!" I say, growing angry.  
  
"Obviously some of them are not obeying it. We were returning from our excursion, when they came from one the asteroids. They must have been cloaked or something, because our sensors didn't pick them up until they were firing on us."  
  
"How far are you from the colony?" I ask.  
  
"Ten minutes, but we won't last that long. You have to do something." The channel is cut, and I slam my fist on the table. Damn right I have to do something. I grab my coat, and walk to the door.  
  
"Neelix, what's going on, why were you yelling?" Dexa asks.  
  
"I can't talk now, I have to go," I say, walking out. I know I should tell her, but by the time I finished my rant, Pelax, my co-worker, will be dead. I make my way down the dim-lit tunnel, until I reach my vessel. I start her up, and quickly jump to warp, locating Pelax's ship on my sensors. It's stopped, and there are two vessels nearby it. Taking my surprise attack advantage, I power weapons and drop out of warp. I shoot a volley at the closest ship, and it juts backwards on my viewscreen, small explosions blossoming on its hull. My ship shakes as the other ship fires on me. I fire another volley, sending this one to the other ship. I know I could probably take one ship, but with two, I know I'll fail. I hail Pelax's ship, and to my surprise there is a reply.  
  
"Neelix, you—here. We need--- ments. Call --- ack up," Pelax says, his screen filled with static, and his voice keeps cutting off.  
  
"Are you're weapons operational?" I ask, multi-tasking and shooting off my phasers at the two ships.  
  
"Neg--- ive."  
  
"Get them back, or we're both going to die," I say, failing to suppress my panic.  
  
:: Shields down to 54 percent. :: The computer reports as my ship shakes again.  
  
"Computer, seize audio reports," I request, not needing the added tension. I manage to disable one ship, but the other goes flying off towards the colony. I try and access my engines, but warp if offline. I'll never make it back on impulse on time, but I have to try. I hail the colony. Oxilon appears on screen.  
  
"We're reading an oncoming miner vessel," he says, alarm reflecting in his eyes.  
  
"I'm coming back, but Pelax's ship has been disabled," I report. "Get ready, their weapons are still online."  
  
"Understood. I've raised shields," he says. "What's your ETA?"  
  
"A good 15 minutes on impulse, but I should have warp back up in a few minutes," I tap the console. "They were just kicked offline; I need to warm them up."  
  
"Understood," he says again. The background behind him rocks slightly. "The ship has arrived. Shields are holding at 90%." I would have grinned at this with pride, our powerful sensors against their inferior weapons, but my warp kicks back on and I jump to warp. I quickly drop out, spotting the vessel. I target his weapons array, and fire.  
  
"Computer, reactivate audio reports," I say, watching closely as the ship stops firing.  
  
:: Vessel's weapons systems are offline. ::  
  
Suddenly there is a shot from the surface, and the ship explodes in front of me.  
  
"Thank you, Neelix," Oxilon says, still on my small viewscreen. "Pelax should be returning soon, I'm reading his engines are functioning."  
  
"Understood," I say with a sigh, leaning back in my seat with relief. "I'm sure Dexa won't be liking this. I'll be making repairs for weeks," I say, starting the landing procedures.  
  
"When is she due?" Oxilon asks, now casual since the threat as been taken care of.  
  
"Three weeks, but we've had several false alarms the past week," I say. My shuttle shudders as it lands.  
  
"A good sign," Oxilon says. "It could be any day now, you know."  
  
"I just hope she doesn't have another mood swing on me," I say, running a thorough scan of damages. "Do you remember that vase you gave us as a wedding present?"  
  
"Yes, it was from Talax."  
  
"She threw it against the wall," I say, shaking my head. "I had just returned after a good two weeks from trading, and was brutally angry with me."  
  
"I'm sure I could find another vase to replace it, Neelix," he says reassuringly. "But for now, you should really get home." I nod.  
  
"Good night, Oxilon," I say, taking a PADD and loading the damages onto it.  
  
"Good night, and good luck, Neelix. Sounds like you may need it," Oxilon says with a smile. The channel ends, and I take the PADD, powering down my ship and leaving. The walk back to Dexa and my quarters is too quick. Before I know it, I'm unlocking the door, but she opens it first from the other side, and stands with a hand on her hip.  
  
"Wrong code, I guess," I say, with a nervous laugh and smile.  
  
"Where did you go? Why wouldn't you tell me? And what happened?" Dexa asks, blocking the entrance by leaning I the door frame.  
  
"Pelax told me that Raxel's ship had been destroyed, and that he was under attack. I didn't want to worry you," I say, hoping that she won't be too angry. Her look softens and she steps back.  
  
"It worries me more that you wouldn't tell me," Dexa says.  
  
"With our little one on the way, I didn't want to throw you into any kind of stress," I say, sliding my jacket back off and hanging it on the hook it was on just before I left. "It could throw you into labor, and I would want to be here to help you."  
  
"Neelix, I'm fine," she says, walking into the living room. I follow her, and help her sit down more smoothly this time. Just as I go to sit down, my computer chirps again. "You better tell me if you're going to be running away this time or not," she warns. I walk into the office again, and open the channel. Though this time I sit down, smiling ear-to-ear.  
  
"Neelix, I hope this isn't a bad hour for you."  
  
"No, not at all, Admiral," I say.  
  
"I've lost track of time in the Delta Quadrant, so I could be calling you at any time now days."  
  
"I'll always be around to talk to you," I say, laughing lightly.  
  
"Good to know," she says. "I don't suppose I could get a report from you on how the colony is doing?"  
  
"Well you wouldn't believe me if I told you I just got back from a fight with the miners."  
  
"Didn't you negotiate your territory out with them?"  
  
"We did," I say, "and all has been smooth right up until this evening! No disturbances, not a peep from them. Then I get a call from my business partner, and he says that he's under attack, and that one of our newer workers has been annihilated."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that," she says, worry contorting her features. "Since you're home, I can safely assume that the issue was worked out."  
  
"I surely hope so. There were only two ships, so they could have been rebels who didn't want to give up on our resources."  
  
"Possibly. Keep me informed on them," she says, pausing only to sip her usual drink – coffee. "Now on a more personal note, how is Dexa doing?" I glance into the living room where I meet Dexa's eyes. She must have heard her name, because she struggles to stand up and walk into the room. I stand up for Dexa to sit.  
  
"Admiral, what a pleasant surprise," Dexa says, sitting in my chair.  
  
"Dexa, I was just asking Neelix how you were feeling," she says, smiling brightly.  
  
"The same way I did when I was pregnant with Brax, so I have no worries," Dexa says.  
  
"Very good to hear. You'll have to call me once the little one is here," she says.  
  
"Of course, Admiral," I say. We continue to talk, and though I wish I could be with the Voyager crew, I'm glad that I can be here with Dexa and Brax. The Voyager crew needed me as a cook and morale officer, but the Talaxians needed me for much more, and I could never reject my own people in their desperate time of need. I'm just glad to know that I've helped them, and found love once again. 


	8. Tuvok

(insert disclaimer here Short chapter, but you know, Tuvok is kinda hard to write in this storyline, since he really doesn't have any emotions. Sorry it took so long to update.)

The bell rang. "Class is dismissed," I say.  
  
"Finally," mutters Cadet Towe, taking up his things.  
  
"Cadet Towe, may I speak with you for one moment," I say. He freezes, not knowing I had overheard what he had said. His comrades pat him on the back, and when the room is clear, he shrugs his things off and sighs.  
  
"What is it, Captain?" he groans.  
  
"Your grades have significantly slipped," I say, my head tilting in the slightest.  
  
"Yeah, about that-"  
  
"Your excuses are wholly unnecessary. If you do not wish to take my class on developing Starfleet Tactics, I am quite certain I can have you reassigned."  
  
"No, sir, I can bring them back up."  
  
"Then might I suggest you start this new approach soon. Mid-terms are in precisely three weeks."  
  
"Yes, sir." There is a brief silence, and for once he looks up at me. "Is that it?"  
  
"I can only hold you to your word, Cadet. If you would like to advance in ranking, I suggest you listen to my class discussions and study the guideline materials I have issued to the class. They are subjects of matter on a daily basis on any starship."  
  
"Understood, sir."  
  
"Then you are dismissed." Towe gathers his materials sloppily and leaves, closing the door behind him. As I gather my materials, there is a knock on the door. "Enter." To my surprise, it is Chakotay, a man I haven't seen since we parted ways upon our arrival in the Alpha Quadrant. "Captain Chakotay."  
  
"Tuvok," he says, with a slight nod. "No need for ranks, I resigned just as Kathryn did."  
  
"Of course," I say. "If I may ask, what has brought you here? When I was last informed, you were away on Ajilon Prime."  
  
"The dig wasn't as thought fulfilling as I had thought it would be," Chakotay says, sitting on the edge of a desk.  
  
"Elaborate."  
  
Chakotay huffs a laugh and crosses his arms. "I'm having problems with Seven." My brow rises at this. "I'm sure you've heard about her successful operation."  
  
"Indeed."  
  
"Well now that she's human again, she won't have anything to do with me. In fact, she's moved to live on Jupiter Station to study medicine with Voyager's EMH."  
  
"Curious. Medicine was never a previous proficiency for Seven of Nine."  
  
"I have a feeling it's more than medicine she moved there for."  
  
"Explain."  
  
"I think she's scared of humanoids."  
  
"Intriguing," I say. "Her reentry into humanity has caused an illogical fear."  
  
"She doesn't want to be assimilated again."  
  
"I can not establish how she would associate the Borg in a personal relationship with you, Chakotay."  
  
"I don't either, Tuvok, but Seven will be Seven. Or rather, Annika as she is going by now."  
  
"May I ask as to why you are discussing this matter with me? A more suitable individual would be Admiral Janeway."  
  
"Well there's no more beating around the bush with you, Tuvok," Chakotay says with a hesitant laugh. "I have a confession to make." I raise a brow at this that quickly flattens. Chakotay takes a breath, gathering his thoughts. "As much as I'm sorry for Seven's illogical fears, I'm not sorry to see her go."  
  
"An astonishing confession to make after speaking of your distracted feelings toward her."  
  
"It's not her I'm distracted by, Tuvok. It's Kathryn."


	9. Doctor

(Standard disclaimer still applies. Oh yeah, and to Love Voyager – I thank you for your comment, and I'd like to make a few things clear. I never said that Seven 'loved' the EMH. She may have seen a side of Chakotay in him, but I didn't mean the 'personal relationship' side. I meant more like the caring, generous side. Sorry if that came out wrong in my writing (:-S). I know she said his look was 'loving', but that was in a platonic sense. Hopefully this chapter will clear that up. Oh, and I'll try to describe why Chakotay went to Tuvok later on. I can understand why you'd think he'd go to B'Elanna. And I've been forgetting to thank SpikesGal, Cat C, Sci Fi Fan Gillan, Dark Borg Drone, and katie janeway for their wonderful comments! Where would I be without you? This story only continues for those who review! Now enjoy!)  
  
"Good work today, Doctor," Barclay said, patting me on the back. "I'll see you in the morning."  
  
"Good night, Reg," I say.  
  
"Computer, deactivate the Emergency Medical-"  
  
"I don't mean to intrude, but I require a moment of the Doctor's time." Reg and I turn to see Annika. "I shall make sure he is deactivated once our conversation has ended."  
  
"Of course, Annika," Reg says, just as curious as I am to see what she's up to now. He quietly makes his exit and I gesture for her to sit down in chair in front of my desk. She hesitantly does so, and I lean back against my desk, interested as to why she's here and so shaken.  
  
"What's seems to be the matter, Annika?"  
  
"I... am having substantial difficulty now that my implants have been removed."  
  
"It's a dawning of a new era for you. For once in your life, you actually have control over yourself, and that can be scary."  
  
"You are mistaken, Doctor. I was an individual as a child, and after my separation from the hive mind."  
  
"But this is a new and different situation. As a child, your parents were the ones who made the hard decisions for you. And after your separation from the Borg, you still had the lingering implants that restricted you."  
  
"That is not my point of being here."  
  
"Then what is, Annika?" I say, desperate. "You've been hiding in your quarters, doing studies and research on your own. Why won't you speak with anyone?"  
  
"I am speaking with you now."  
  
"That's not what I meant. You seem to avoid everyone that is human," I say. I watch with compassion as she turns her gaze away from me and tears corner her eyes.  
  
"I... am afraid," she says quietly, a tear sliding down her cheek.  
  
"Afraid of what?" I ask, my voice soothing and caring.  
  
"Re-assimilation."  
  
"Re-assim—Annika, there's no Borg outposts for countless light-years!"  
  
"The Queen was after me," she says, turning to me. Her face burns into me – so pained and hurt. Emotions I thought she would never hold.  
  
"We both know that she was killed by the future Admiral Janeway.." I find my voice to melt to compassion.  
  
"That remains under speculation. And if she is alive, she will know that I am no longer at all Borg. She used to contact me through my cortical node, but once she realizes that I no longer possess it, she will try and locate me by other means."  
  
"There is no need for this paranoia, Annika!" I say, shock washing over me. "We are at one of the most prestigious medical facilities Starfleet has to offer. It wouldn't leave you defenseless if a Borg vessel were to even attack here."  
  
"A valid point," she says, wiping her eyes.  
  
"So what does this have to do with you avoiding humans?"  
  
"The Queen has a preference for humans, being that they have outmaneuvered her on so many previous occasions. As Borg technology adapts towards perfection, I fear that we might not be able to distinguish a drone from a normal human being. The human race is a very vulnerable people."  
  
"Seven, Annika... listen to me. You're emotions are getting the best of you."  
  
"I'm merely prepared for the worst case scenario."  
  
"Is this why you broke things off with Chakotay?"  
  
Annika sighs and shifts slightly. "Chakotay is a very compassionate man. As my journey into a new life begins, I don't want him to waste it over moments such as these. He has previous expressed his desire for children, and I know that it would be impossible for me to conceive."  
  
"Not anymore though! You're completely human now; you can do anything that any ordinary woman could."  
  
"That is not entirely true."  
  
"What?" I say, my voice faltering.  
  
"I did not want you to know, but after you and Lieutenant Commander Barclay left after my surgery, the Doctor informed me that my operation had some... setbacks. The surgery had risks to begin with, and the consequences were dramatic but tolerable. All for the sake of my humanity." She pauses, and I hesitate to say something. She takes a deep breath and continues, "The doctor was forced to do a hysterectomy."  
  
"What? Did he tell you why?"  
  
"It was part of my failsafe device. An unforeseen accident."  
  
"I see," I say. "Did you tell Chakotay about this?"  
  
"No. I ended our relationship prior to my surgical procedure. I have not spoken with him since. Besides," she sighs, "he is currently on Ajilon Prime on an archaeological dig. The ruins he is investigating have no means of necessary communications."  
  
"Do you plan on speaking with him?"  
  
"Negative. I wish to further explore my own humanity on my own terms."  
  
"Hiding yourself in your quarters or a secluded lab will only hinder your development. Perhaps you should start working on Reg and me on our current project," I say, the idea just rolling over my holographic lips. "Of course I'll have to check with Reg first."  
  
"Certainly. I will take it under consideration." 


	10. Closing Measures

(A/N: Doesn't exactly give closure to necessarily _everything_, but enough said. READ! REVIEW!)

The room gleams with chandelier lighting, and golden table cloths. Chatter echoes around every edge of the room, laughter snaking its way through the pillars. The room is filled to the brim, as well as the balconies and the area around a fountain. The stars have gently pushed the day away, taking their places in the sky. I lean on the railing of a luckily empty balcony, looking up at the stars once again. A cold sensation runs up my arm and I turn quickly to see a drink pressed to it. I take it with a wry smile as he leans on the railing next to me, sipping his own beverage.  
  
"Glad we decided to come after all?" he asks, looking over at me. I sigh, looking down into my drink.  
  
"It still feels a little wrong to hold it now that so many of the crew has..." I can't bring myself to say it; the word is like acid on my tongue.  
  
"It's a part of life, Kathryn," he says quietly. "And one day, we too shall pass on."  
  
I remain quiet at this statement. I have never feared death. Not even when I looked into the hollow eyes of the Borg Queen. Not when I struggled for air against my nebula-invested and controlled ship. Not when I stepped out of my Ready Room and barked 'Report' at Harry. **_Never_**. But now that I've attended more funerals than I can count, and spoke about the noble people that I _used_ to call my crewmen, I've slowly begin to worry about it. I sip my drink nervously as I feel his eyes wash over me. I swear he's a betazoid sometimes, always reading my thoughts, probing my every move.  
  
"Admiral, it's good to see you decided to come this year."  
  
I turn at the voice, knowing full well who it is, his voice dripping with never-ending loyalty. "Ah, Captain Kim. How are you?"  
  
"Very well," he says, with a sincere smile. I still can see my Ensign Kim sometimes, and my heart aches with memories of the past.  
  
"How's the family?" Chakotay asks.  
  
"Just got new additions. I'm officially a grandfather to a healthy baby boy and girl."  
  
"Oh twins, congratulations, Harry," I say, beaming with pride. "I'm sure you carry a holoimage of them," I say, asking more than stating.  
  
"Of course," he says, pulling a small picture of the tiny squint-faced babies with jet black hair.

"Spitting image of old grandpa," Chakotay says. Harry laughs as he slips the image back into his jacket. He and Chakotay begin talking about something, but I'm lost in memories. The graying man before me used to be but a boy on a lost ship. He used to ask questions, make me rethink huge command decisions, and eventually even brought me out of retirement after my mother died. I was already married by then, but attending her funeral was something I felt so alone in dealing with. Harry laughs, and I catch my breath, smiling at the decorated and revered man that I used to think of more as a son than anything else. Reg Barclay comes onto the stage and starts ushering people to their seats.  
  
".. And where is that fine command couple at?" He says, looking over the room. I blush slightly as both Harry and Chakotay look at me.  
  
"Can't leave the man waiting all night," I say. Chakotay smiles, sticking his arm out for me to loop my own through. Harry disappears after his own wife as we make our way to the front table.  
  
"Alright then," Reg says, looking down at me with a twinkling glance. "It looks like we can get our party started now. I'd like to welcome you to the twenty-fifth anniversary of the USS Voyager, NCC-74656," he stamps out every number, drawing them in the air, "Homecoming!" The room grows with applause, and I too clap, smiling across the room at my crew. "Not to put a dampener on our bright spirits, but it's time to get a little serious." I feel my throat tighten and my hand stiffen around the champagne glass in front of me. My least favorite part of this whole thing is about to ensue. "We need to remember why we continue our celebration, twenty-five years later, and that is for our fallen members. So here's tonight's toast," he says raising his glass from the podium. "To the ones who are here in spirit. May we live our lives more full because of your strength." As he takes a sip, there is clinking heard across the room with a low rumble of 'here here's. I tap Chakotay's glass and take a long drink, letting the burning liquid melt away my tears. I couldn't cry on the Bridge twenty-five years ago, I'll be damned if I do it tonight. Reg makes his way down off the stage and over to the still youthful EMH who sits a few tables down. The room grows with discussions again as the food begins to wheel out. I've suddenly lost my appetite and fold my napkin in front of me.

"Excuse me," I say quietly, moving away.

"Kathryn," I hear Chakotay say as I hold my breath, walking outside to the fountain. He's bound to come after me, but for now I know he'll leave me be.

I sigh, watching her leave. I know I should go after her, force her to face up to things, but I've pushed her too far already just by bringing her here. This used to be her year-to-year life, the only thing that kept her going. But now with so many people missing, it's really taken its toll.

"Mind if I have a seat?"

I glance up from my lost thoughts at B'Elanna. "How could I refuse such beautiful company?" Her silver hair is the only thing that shows her age, apart from the wrinkles that we all try to ignore. I know I have a few of my own. "How's the family doing?"

She swallows hard, pressing a smile on her face. "Alright I guess. Yours?"

"About the same," I say, reading her face.

"Where's the misses of yours?" she asks in a hesitated voice. "I saw her not too long ago." I take the hint of 'let's talk about things other than family' and nod towards the doorway where Kathryn had exited not too long ago.

"She doesn't enjoy these things as much as she did twenty-five years ago."

"Who in their right mind does?" B'Elanna says dryly, looking about the room.

I watch her leave the room, almost everyone does. The glasses have barely all sat back down and she's already torn. I can understand though, I miss Tom more than anyone, besides B'Elanna maybe. He was my only real friend on Voyager, and now that he's not here to add his usual comic relief, the room seems quiet and cold. "I'll be right back," I say off hand to my wife, standing up and following the trail the Admiral had not too long ago tread.

She's sitting on the edge of the fountain, her legs pulled close to her body, head on her knees as she stares into the rippling pool of never-ending water. With the moon over head, and the awakening stars, I slowly walk, the only sound the sloshing water as it hits the bottom pool.

"Have a seat, Harry."

Her voice surprises me, she didn't even look up or flinch in the slightest. I sit down next to her, taking in her every feature as I do. Her cheeks are moist with ebbing tears. I've never seen her cry, and it shakes me so much to see the woman I revere so highly break down like this.

"He went quickly, Harry," she says, not looking at me still. "I know you wanted to be there."

I take a deep breath, looking up at the stars. My chest clenches with an unknown force, an invisible hand wrapping its fingers tightly around my heart. "I ... he sent me a letter."

"Oh?"

Her puzzled tone doesn't move an inch of her face, a face that could be carved in stone. "It said that he knew he had only a few weeks, that he didn't want anyone else to know, not even his family."

"I received a similar letter," she says. Her eyes not meeting my own, she looks up and over my shoulder. The gray-blue spheres gleam with unshed tears, still at bay. "He didn't want B'Elanna to know because he wanted everyday to be lived to the fullest. But after he passed, she told me that she knew."

"I should have been here," I say, standing up brashly and pacing slowly by the fountain. "He would have been there for me, for anyone-"

"Captains have to make a lot of sacrifices, Harry."

My rant comes to a quick halt, stopped before I could even really get started. Her dim voice strikes silence upon me. I stop pacing and look at her, hands in my pockets.

"The hardest things I ever learned were during my Voyager days. I wanted to be here when my sister passed, to help my mother when she first got sick... but there's some thing we just can't control."

I wonder if anyone even notices her missing. Everyone is still thinking about Tom Paris, they probably don't even think twice about Annika. Besides, she never came to one of these things. Never left her quarters or labs really. Somehow I blame myself, for not trying harder. But I pressed too hard on her, and now that she's gone, it's really no use dwelling on the past.

"...so I said, 'Why use those old things? Go take Admiral Jenkins', it's not as if he'll ever use them!'" Reg says, bursting into a rapturous laughter, along with his colleagues at the table. He's barely even noticed me, unusually and uncharacteristically silent. I merely chuckle, the brief rumble my only sign of existence.

I look back up as I see her reenter the room, Harry at her side. She smiles as Crewman Chell catches her next to his table, and stops her, his blue face bright with conversation. She slowly makes her way across the room, back to her table where I am found sitting in her seat. "My apologies, Admiral," I say, standing up.

"You're always welcomed company, B'Elanna," she says, sitting down in her seat.

"Thank you," I say, nodding. "Now if you'll excuse me." I feel like tearing out in a run. I can't believe I came, and by the look on most peoples faces, neither can they.

It was two weeks ago today that Tom passed. He never told me about the virus that lay dormant inside him for months, not until the day before he left me forever. And I was at first mad, furious – how could he not tell me? Did he not trust me? Did he think he could be some big shot and fight it out on his own terms? I felt betrayed. But in his last hours, as we just sat there in the still silence of our bedroom, I forgave him somehow. The dark circles under his yellow eyes from forcing himself to remain awake for three day straight. He didn't want to leave me, leave our family. But sometimes, life has its ways. This is just one of the more harsh and real ones that, in the Delta Quadrant, I grew to forget.

Of course people died in the Delta Quadrant also, but not as many affected me so. My mother and father had both passed now. And now with Tom gone, all I have is Miral, who has been gone for several months on a Deep Space mission, clueless of her father's death. When and how I'm going to tell her, I have no idea.

"B'Elanna!"

I spin around, realizing I had somehow made my way to a balcony. "Harry, hi," I say, almost having to physically press a smile on with my hand. "I'm glad to see you made it to the reunion."

Awkwardness ensues as he stares at me with those dark brown eyes, a look that makes me feel as though he's searching my soul for forgiveness somewhat, and suddenly, I hug him tightly.

The stars are still idle, never moving anymore. It's okay though, I've grown so accustomed to the stillness nowadays in my retirement. My bones ache as I sit down on the sofa. It makes me feel old, but what nowadays doesn't? If there's one thing I've learned in the past twenty-five years it's this –

Things may come, and things may go. But how I react to it is what matters.

Face it, whatever I do is my choice, not someone else's. So as I sit here, my house quiet with unwanted silence, I reflect. Because today is the anniversary for Voyager. I'll talk to each of the crew, their adoring faces making me saddened with nostalgia. Little Naomi telling me about her husband and children. I can't believe how much I've missed out on.

I can't believe it's all over.


End file.
